Almost one in five young adults think it's reasonable to expect to track a romantic partner whenever they want, new eSafety research shows.
More than 2,000 Australians aged 18 to 75 years and over were asked whether they agreed with specific harmful expectations and attitudes associated with tech-based coercive control in intimate relationships, including isolating, micro-managing and monitoring a partner.
While 13.6% of all participants agreed expecting to track an intimate partner whenever they wanted using location-sharing apps was reasonable, this jumped to 18.6% for 18-24-year-olds specifically.
“Young people have become so accustomed to a certain level of online tracking and monitoring by family and friends that it wouldn’t seem strange to expect similar digital access in a romantic relationship,” eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant said.
“We urgently need to get the message out there that a respectful partner never expects to keep tabs on you 24/7.”
While the research reinforces the need for more education around digital boundaries, privacy and consent, it also raises questions about how popular tracking apps used by parents might be priming children and young people to accept round-the-clock monitoring without question.
“As a country, we’re grappling with how to stem the devastating tide of intimate partner violence. But if we want to change these behaviours, we must challenge underlying attitudes that endorse and normalise controlling and monitoring behaviours in romantic relationships,” Ms Inman Grant said.
“For some, the expectation of tracking can contribute to future tech-based coercive control: a pattern of behaviour used to manipulate someone with devastating effects on that person’s perception, sense of self-worth, and sense of safety.”
People who use coercive control in a relationship are more likely to use physical violence against their partner and any children involved. There’s also a higher risk of lethal violence.
“It isn’t an exaggeration to say preventing tech-based coercive control, and the attitudes that condone it, can save lives,” Ms Inman Grant said.
“We’re not saying a couple in a relationship or family members shouldn’t share their location online. What we’re saying is the expectation you can track a romantic partner whenever you want is problematic, even dangerous. And this is especially the case when a partner is using other controlling, isolating or manipulative tactics.
“To help disrupt these troubling relationship norms, we encourage parents and carers to role model respectful tech practices as often as possible. Your example can help young people navigate tricky issues of consent, respect and privacy into their adult years.
“For example, if you decide to download a location-sharing app onto your child’s device, have a conversation about why and when their location will be shared with you, and how the app works. We want to build children’s understanding of where and how information about them exists online and who else can access it.
“We know the pressure on parents and carers to understand all the intricacies of the online world is overwhelming. That’s why we have everything from explainers and conversation guides to free parent webinars at eSafety.gov.au/parents.”
eSafety has a new hot-topic webinar on tech-based coercive control to help educators, parents and carers spot the red flags and support young people who may be experiencing it. Educators can register for the free 45-minute webinar on 20 May or 31 July at 3.45pm (AEST). Parents can register for the free 45-minute webinar on 6 August, 12.30pm (AEST).
Read the full research report ‘Track, harass, repeat: Attitudes that normalise tech-based coercive control’.
Find out more about the impact of tech-based coercive control on young people’s relationships.
Key Facts:
Supporting a young person in a coercive relationship takes patience and empathy. Here’s how parents and carers can help:
- Spot the signs
- Withdrawing from friends or activities.
- High anxiety or secrecy about their boyfriend or girlfriend.
- Changes in mood or confidence.
- Constant phone checking or fear of missing messages.
- Start the conversation
- Ask open-ended questions: ‘What happens if you don’t reply to their messages?’, ‘How does it feel when they want to track your location?’
- Stay calm and non-judgemental.
- Avoid blaming or issuing ultimatums.
- Model healthy relationships
- Talk about boundaries, respect, and consent.
- Reinforce that real love is supportive, not controlling.
- Let them know it’s fine to ask for help.
- Help them report abuse
- Collect evidence and report the coercive control if it is part of cyberbullying targeting a child or young person under 18, adult cyber abuse or image-based abuse (sharing, or threatening to share, an intimate image or video without the consent of the person shown).
- Find out more at How to report abuse or content to eSafety.
- Be there for the long haul
- Offer consistent support — even if they’re not ready to leave the relationship.
- Reassure them they’re not alone.
- Encourage small steps, not sudden decisions.
About us:
The eSafety Commissioner is Australia’s independent regulator for online safety. Our purpose is to help safeguard all Australians from online harms and to promote safer, more positive online experiences.
eSafety acts as a safety net for Australians who report cyberbullying, serious adult cyber abuse or image-based abuse. We can also investigate and remove seriously harmful illegal and restricted content, including online child sexual exploitation material. Find out more: eSafety.gov.au
Contact details:
For eSafety media inquiries, contact [email protected] or phone 0439 519 684 (calls only, no text)
