More than 1 in 4 young people confuse controlling behaviours in a relationship with ‘healthy boundaries’. New youth campaign responds.

New data released today found over a quarter of surveyed 14 – 20-year-olds confuse controlling behaviours, including forced physical touch out of love, as a ‘healthy boundary,’ while only 22% feel completely confident to take action when they are uncomfortable, feel unsafe or disrespected in a relationship.   

These findings are part of The Line campaign’s latest initiative ‘Comfort Zone’, funded by the Australian Department of Social Services.  The initiative is designed to empower young Australians to recognise controlling behaviours and communicate healthy boundaries through an interactive game that helps them explore what feels right in relationships of all kinds — with friends, partners, family, and more.  

The data also found young people are struggling to understand consent, with over half (54%) of those surveyed believing that ‘if a guy wants to have sex with a girl, it’s up to the girl to make it very clear she doesn’t want to.’  

A recent study from Australian Institute of Family Studies showed nearly a third of 18–19-year-olds reported experiencing intimate partner violence in a 12-month period.   

Our Watch CEO Patty Kinnersly said that most young people want to do the right thing, but they need the proper tools and support.   

“Healthy relationships start with healthy boundaries. By helping young people know what’s OK and not OK, they can enter relationships knowing where their ‘comfort zone’ is and what to do if something doesn’t feel right.  

“Campaigns like The Line are a powerful way to engage young people and start important conversations — but they’re just one part of the bigger picture. Lasting change also depends on long-term approaches, including whole-of-school respectful relationships education in every Australian school,” Ms Kinnersly said.   

The initiative is backed by Netflix Heartbreak High actors Bryn Chapman Parish (Spider) and Sherry-Lee Watson (Missy), TikTok content creators Taz and Alessia (900k+ followers). 

Quotes attributable to Minister for Social Services, the Hon Tanya Plibersek MP: 

“We want our kids to grow up understanding what healthy relationships look like, and to be able to talk to each other about it.  

“Young people are inundated with unhealthy and even dangerous information, especially online. We have to combat that, to change behaviours at the start before they lead to coercive or violent situations. It’s great to see people they trust using their voice and platforms to help shape this discussion and challenge concerning behaviours.  

“To end domestic and family violence we need to invest in the frontline services that help people and keep them safe, but we also need to stop the behaviours that lead to it. That’s why the Albanese Labor Government is investing a record $4 billion in initiatives including prevention, early intervention, response, and recovery.” 

Quotes attributable to Assistant Minister for Social Services and Assistant Minister for the Prevention of Family Violence, the Hon Ged Kearney MP: 

“It’s critical that we focus not just on reacting to violence but preventing it. We know violence often comes after a gradual escalation of boundary breaking and coercion - it’s so critical we teach our young people these early signs of an unhealthy relationship. 

“He’s being mean to you because he likes you,” “He’s just being protective.” These are things all of us hear since girlhood. It’s deeply unsettling yet unsurprising that so many young people still don’t know the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries. 

“Women have always been told that boundary breaking, coercion and abuse are individual issues to resolve. They’re not. The Albanese Labor Government takes all forms of abuse very seriously and has a large role to play in stamping it out across all government systems and all parts of society.” 

Key findings:  

• More than a quarter of young people confuse controlling behaviours as signs of healthy boundaries (27% thought being told you cannot walk away from an argument was a healthy boundary, and 29% thought forcing physical touch out of love was a healthy boundary).  

• A third of young people misidentified unhealthy relationship behaviours as healthy (for example, 31% identified ‘I have a right to know where my partner is most of the time’ as a healthy relationship behaviour, and 27% identified ‘it’s okay to be jealous because it means I care about my partner’ as a healthy relationship behaviour).  

• 49% of young men aged 14-17 are unsure, or don’t know what makes a relationship healthy.    

Key findings:  

• More than a quarter of young people confuse controlling behaviours as signs of healthy boundaries (27% thought being told you cannot walk away from an argument was a healthy boundary, and 29% thought forcing physical touch out of love was a healthy boundary).  

• A third of young people misidentified unhealthy relationship behaviours as healthy (for example, 31% identified ‘I have a right to know where my partner is most of the time’ as a healthy relationship behaviour, and 27% identified ‘it’s okay to be jealous because it means I care about my partner’ as a healthy relationship behaviour).  

• 49% of young men aged 14-17 are unsure, or don’t know what makes a relationship healthy.